Educator Practical Jokes

You thought teachers were always serious at school? Not even close. Through the course of my teaching career and career as a principal, I have been involved in many pranks.

At Albany Grade School

The main entrance to Albany Grade included a canopy over the doorway. I assume it was to shelter people before they came in through the double doors. Although we had many entrances, this was the only one with a canopy. You can see it fairly well in the school photo from 1975. 

Besides having room for multiple people waiting to get inside, it also has room for a car, specifically a Volkswagon Beetle. How do I know this? Lynette, our PE teacher, drove a VW in the early years. One day after school when the students were gone, and before the faculty was allowed to leave, Denny, Gerry, and I pushed her car to the entrance. We then picked it up and put it tightly between the doors and the posts supporting the canopy. Not very safe, but very funny.

On another spring day, we found Bob, the principal, had left his car unlocked. He drove a 57 Ford every day. At some time earlier, my brother had given me a firework car bomb. While Bob was otherwise engaged, I opened the hood and connected the device across two spark plugs.  Several minutes later, while we waited nearby, he attempted to start his car. First there was a loud whistle like sound, then a loud pop, and smoke rolled out from the under the hood. He scrambled out of the car in a cloud of white. I don’t think he thought it was funny, but we did.

Irving Elementary School

The Irving faculty was a fun group. They were always playing tricks on each other like passing a Christmas ornament into each other’s mailbox. The most unwanted object  was the Irving Traveling Trophy.

The Irving Traveling Trophy was actually a student art project that somehow did not appear to be what the student intended to make. It was likely supposed to be a tower sculpture. The project was made from clay and then fired in the district kiln. Somehow it never went home with the student and remained at the school. No matter what it was supposed to be, it definitely appeared to be a giant dildo.

The Irving Traveling Trophy would usually reappear when someone wanted to recognize some dubious achievement of another faculty member. I cannot recall many of the awards, but I believe one of 6th grade teachers received it the first year of the state required achievement tests.

The state had spent millions developing the test and had great interest in maintaining security of the tests. We were required to account for all tests and return them to Springfield immediately after testing. Unfortunately Mr. B set them somewhere in his room where he was hosting a major paper recycling project. They were never seen again. For this he was awarded the Irving Traveling Trophy. Knowing him, I am sure he passed it on to another deserving staff member. Unfortunately I don't have a photo of the ITT.

Although I never received the ITT, I did receive a number of staff initiated pranks. Since my birthday is in early December, school was almost always in session. One birthday, the staff had a little celebration in the morning before the students arrived. At this celebration, I was handed a string and instructed to follow it.

The string went out of the faculty workroom, through the office, out to the east main entrance, up the stairs to the second floor, down the second floor hallway to the west stair entrance, out the parking lot door, and under my car. There it ended in a case of beer, which I quickly put in my trunk.

In 1987, I turned 40 years old. The staff thought this should be recognized, so they bought me a black T-shirt and decorated my office in black paper. They often celebrated such milestones, but they went all out for me.

We met in the faculty workroom; they had purchased a large cake, decorated in black frosting. I was handed a cake slicing knife to cut pieces for all staff. Unfortunately I could not cut past the frosting. The cake was actually a 12 pack of beer cleverly decorated. 

While not another milestone, I did receive the birthday cake in the face award on numerous occasions. Fortunately there were plenty of kind staff members like Nancy and Gertie who would clean up after the pranksters. 

Then there was the year Shirley J. came armed with a headband squirt gun.  I am amazed that no one ever got angry over these pranks.

  

I am sure former colleagues will remember many more practical jokes from my time as an educator. Hopefully they will not be too embarrassing.

At least the faculty never put plastic wrap under the toiler seat as was done by the students at Albany Grade School the April Fools Day they caught my buddy Gerry.