Friday, February 23, 2018

Lampreys, and Gerbils, and Rat Snakes, Oh My!




My classroom at Albany Grade School was actually a lab room. As you can see from the photos it was well equipped, thanks to the efforts of those who came before me. In addition to the sinks, gas and electric hookups, the room had a large aquarium display which included two 10 gallon tanks and one 20 gallon.

When I started teaching, I felt it important that students understand environmental science. In particular, I wanted them to know about living things in their own environment. For this reason, I decided to fill the tanks with local animals.

Living in a town on the Mississippi River, meant there were plenty of opportunities to obtain wildlife. All I needed to do was to inform the students I wanted local fish and animals in the tanks.

One year, we had bass, bluegills, and a particularly shy catfish in the tank. The catfish would hide in the farthest corner of the tank behind the thermometer suspended in the tank. This meant it was always vertical. My theory was the catfish did not like all of the light the classroom and would only come out when the lights were off.

One Monday morning in the spring, one of the students brought a bucket full of tadpoles he had captured over the weekend. He carried this bucket on the bus. Immediately upon arriving, he poured the 10 of more large tadpoles into the large tank and proceeded to his locker. The lights were off in my classroom when he arrived and I was not in the room.

His science class was scheduled for later in the morning. When he entered the room, he went to the tank to see the tadpoles, but they were all gone. The catfish was settled on the bottom of the tank, out of hiding, and had a quite large belly.

The grandfather of one of my students was a local game warden. He and I became acquainted, and he offered to bring me fish. One winter, he was involved in a fish count on the river. One of the fish floated up with a lamprey eel attached to it.

Lampreys are parasitic and bore into their victims to suck their blood. They eventually kill their host. The warden brought me the lamprey. That year, we had no other fish in the large tank.

The lamprey attacked the side of the tank. It moved very quickly and suddenly it was attached. It was frightening to see that its mouth suck onto the glass, while its raspy mouth worked back and forth trying to penetrate the glass.

I could only stand to look at this for a few days. The lamprey was removed and destroyed. I shudder today about the thing and can still see it attached to the glass.

Over the years other creatures were displayed in my classroom. Early on I purchased a visible beehive, which sat in the back corner of my classroom by the window. I removed a corner of the window glass, and attached a vinyl tube to the hive and out the window. The students enjoyed watching the bees come and go, adding pollen to their hive. This lasted for many years.

Science teachers are not always popular with the staff at their school. In particular, the custodians and cooks don’t like the critters who occasionally escape the confinement of the science room.

I can still see the day, the custodian, Archie, came walking very fast toward me, as he passed he turned and said “Snake's out” and continued rapidly up the hallway. I never saw Archie move that fast. The little snake was in the hallway trying to move on the well waxed floor. All it did was wiggle back and forth.
Hazel and Archie custodians


The snake was tiny rat snake one of the students brought to me. Although the snake was small, somehow I kept finding it on the floor of the science room. The tank was too deep for it climb out, but I would continue to find it in the morning.

I later discovered how the escape artist performed its feat. It would slide through the small cap full of water that was in the tank. With its skin wet, it would stick to the glass for a few minutes. This was enough time to reach the top where the light cord for the tank light hung down an inch below the light. This was all it needed to pull itself up and out.

Then there was the gerbil, another escape artist. This one got out regularly, usually over the weekend. The first time I lost it I searched the room to no avail. After an hour of looking, I decided to get ready for class. Then I heard a scream from all the way up the hallway past the office. “It’s a rat!”  The cooks had found my gerbil!



The gerbil didn’t last long. It escaped and disappeared. When cleaning out the equipment for summer, I found a narrow vertical tank which was in the aquarium storage shelf. There, dead for several months, was my gerbil. He found a tank he couldn’t escape. You can see the tank that was its final prison on the far right of the photo, sitting on the sink. He was the last of the creatures I kept in my classroom.

Friday, February 16, 2018

I wasn’t supposed to be a teacher




Most people have some plan to their career. Teachers attend college to become teachers, business people study for a job, engineers take coursework to be able to design and implement projects.

I am not most people. I tend to back into activities. I don’t follow a plan to complete something, I adjust as opportunities arise. I take shortcuts and not just the travel route kind (although I often do that too). Serendipity rules my decision making.

When I started college, I didn’t have a career in mind. There was a terrific shortage of teachers, so county superintendents were giving State of Illinois tuition scholarships to any student who would take education coursework. Needing every nickel I could find, I signed up and received an education scholarship. I also got a federal loan under the National Defense Act which was to fund science education to help defeat the Russians in technology.

I chose a major because I liked the subject (Physics). That major required a minor in mathematics and a year each of two additional sciences. The additional science courses were freshman and sophomore level. I also took a couple entry level education classes to keep my scholarship.

 I was a science nerd, so did well. Math was hit or miss depending as much on the instructor as anything. Unfortunately as I advanced in physics, there was an expectation that I was mastering advanced mathematics. I wasn’t. I also was not completing junior level or higher coursework because of all of the math and science.

By the spring of my junior year, it was apparent I could not take more advanced physics. I had the hours in math, but not the skill. I realized I wasn’t going to graduate unless I changed majors. I also wasn’t close to the junior level and above courses required for graduation.

Serendipity. A new program called Agriculture Engineering-Mechanization was just starting. Ag Mechanization already existed, but this new program was to be more engineering. It required science and mathematics courses. The new courses would blend the existing with a strong emphasis on calculation instead of building things. The new courses were junior level and higher. The instructor leading the drive was seeking students with a science and math background. I fit the bill. Graduation became a possibility. I got recruited. I gave up my education scholarship.

One sophomore level course, Surveying, was up-graded to junior level. With that class., and the other required courses, I would reach the exact minimum of junior or higher courses if I attended one summer session. This was  provided I took over eighteen hours each grading period. I had no room in my schedule for the required freshman course in government. This course included the required constitution examination which all teachers must pass, but I wasn't going to be a teacher. I elected to try independent study to meet the government graduation requirement. Independent study did not involve the constitution exam.With the summer session, I met the requirements for graduation. 

The military draft hung over all male students. Any delay in graduation would result in immediate reclassification and draft into the military. I had already had one scare, when I dropped the physics course that convinced me I needed a change.

Senior students were given interview opportunities on campus. I spoke to several agriculture manufacturing recruiters. They all told me the same thing, “Contact us when you have completed your military obligation”.

Our wedding was scheduled for August 16, the day after my graduation. I had secured a temporary job that would last the few months before I would be drafted. I had no other recourse except enlisting for four years. I chose to take my chances on the draft.

Serendipity. My cousin was a member of our wedding party. An education major, he had a fifth grade job offer, but had decided to go into the Peace Corps. I mentioned I had sometimes thought I might like to teach. He said he was turning down the job, but would call the superintendent to inform him I was available. School was starting in nine days.

We called, on the afternoon of my wedding day, and I set up an interview for a few days later. I failed miserably in the interview. I did not have clue about teaching even though I knew a lot of science.

The next day, the superintendent called to tell me I wasn’t getting the job. However, he said there was another superintendent who was looking for a junior high science teacher. He offered to set me up for an interview. The interview was scheduled for Friday. School started Monday.Serendipity.

As we walked up the hallway from the science room, the superintendent said he had another candidate, but at 6"4" tall, he thought I could handle the 8th graders better. I was offered the job. I needed a provisional teacher certificate and completion of required education coursework, but I could start teaching before completing the requirements. I had two years to complete the courses. When the superintendent asked if I had any questions, I was so clueless, I couldn’t think of anything to say. Finally I said “You didn’t ask me about my draft status”. He said “We’ve never had a teacher drafted out of this county.” Serendipity. 

You may notice my first certificate indicated I had passed the constitution exam and, of course, I hadn’t, and no one asked. Serendipity.

 I was to find later that, in teaching, size doesn't matter.

By the way, Albany is in Whiteside County. My draft board was in Henry County.

Friday, February 9, 2018

My First Day as Irving Principal (or as we described it years later)

Delia: Well Rick, I'd like to welcome you to Irving . Carol  hired me as secretary this year so I know almost as little about this school as you.
Rick: Look Delia, if you're the secretary, you must know all the teachers.
Delia: I certainly do.
Rick: Well you know I've never met the staff. So you'll have to tell me their names, and then I'll know who's teaching at the school.
Delia: Oh, I'll tell you their names, but you know it seems to me they give these teachers now-a-days very peculiar names. You know like the names they give students
Rick: You mean funny names?
Delia: Strange names, weird names...like We had  one student  who’s mother said they named her at the hospital so she didn’t have to name her.
Rick: What was her name?.
Delia: Fe mal e (Fem mal lee).
Rick: And then I had one who sold counterfeit lunch tickets, the kid made me sick.
Delia: His name?
Rick: Roark.
Delia: Any other strange names?
Rick: Yes, one who thought it was cool when all the kids stood, put their hands over their hearts, and said her name.
Delia: And she was…?
Rick: Liberty Ann Justice
Delia: The teacher’s names are strange too. Let's see, we have in the primary grades, Who's in first, What's in second, I Don't Know is in third...
Rick: That's what I want to find out.
Delia: I say Who’s in first, What’s in second, I Don't Know’s in third.
Rick: Are you the secretary?
Delia: Yes.
Rick: You gonna be in the school too?
Delia: Yes.
Rick: And you don't know the teachers' names?
Delia: Well I should.
Rick: Well then who’s in first?
Delia: Yes.
Rick: I mean the teacher's name.
Delia: Who.
Rick: The gal in first.
Delia: Who.
Rick: The first grade teacher.
Delia: Who.
Rick: The gal teaching...
Delia: Who is in first!
Rick: I'm asking YOU who’s in first.
Delia: That's the woman's name.
Rick: That's who's name?
Delia: Yes.
Rick: Well go ahead and tell me.
Delia: That's it.
Rick: That's who?
Delia: Yes.
PAUSE
Rick: Look, you gotta first grade teacher?
Delia: Certainly.
Rick: Who's teaching first?
Delia: That's right.
Rick: When the teacher is first grade comes to the office who makes the copies?
Delia: Every one of them.
Rick: All I'm trying to find out is the gal's name in first grade.
Delia: Who.
Rick: The gal that copies...
Delia: That's it.
Rick: Who makes the copies...
Delia: She does, every one. Sometimes her aide comes down and makes them.
Rick: Who’s aide?
Delia: Yes.
PAUSE
Delia: What's wrong with that?
Rick: Look, all I wanna know is when you give copy paper  to  the first grade teacher, how does she sign her voucher?
Delia: Who.
Rick: The gal.
Delia: Who.
Rick: How does she sign...
Delia: That's how she signs it.
Rick: Who?
Delia: Yes.
PAUSE
Rick: All I'm trying to find out is what's the gal's name in first grade.
Delia: No. What is in second grade.
Rick: I'm not asking you who's in second.
Delia: Who’s in first.
Rick: One grade at a time!
Delia: Well, don't change the teachers around.
Rick: I'm not changing nobody!
Delia: Take it easy, buddy.
Rick: I'm only asking you, who's the gal in first grade?
Delia: That's right.
Rick: Ok.
Delia: All right.
PAUSE
Rick: What's the gal's name in first grade?
Delia: No. What is in second.
Rick: I'm not asking you who's in second.
Delia: Who’s in first.
Rick: I don't know.
Delia: She's in third, we're not talking about her.
Rick: Now how did I get in third grade?
Delia: Why you mentioned her name.
Rick: If I mentioned the third grade teacher's name, who did I say is teaching third?
Delia: No. Who's teaching first.
Rick: What's in first?
Delia: What’s in second.
Rick: I don't know.
Delia: She's in third.
Rick: There I go, back in third again!
PAUSE
Rick: Would you just stay in third grade and don't go off it.
Delia: All right, what do you want to know?
Rick: Now who's teaching third grade?
Delia: Why do you insist on putting Who in third grade?
Rick: What am I putting in third.
Delia: No. What is in second.
Rick: You don't want who in second?
Delia: Who is in first.
Rick: I don't know.
Delia & Rick Together:Third grade!
PAUSE
Rick: Look, you got upper grades?
Delia: Sure.
Rick: The 4th grade teacher's name?
Delia: Why.
Rick: I just thought I'd ask you.
Delia: Well, I just thought I'd tell ya.
Rick: Then tell me who's teaching 4th grade.
Delia: Who's teaching first.
Rick: I'm not... stay out of the lower grades! I want to know what's the gal’s name in 4th ?
Delia: No, What is in second.
Rick: I'm not asking you who's in second.
Delia: Who’s in first!
Rick: I don't know.
Delia & Rick Together: Third grade!
PAUSE
Rick: The 4th grade teacher’s name?
Delia: Why.
Rick: Because!
Delia: Oh, she's 5th grade.
PAUSE
Rick: Look, You gotta 6th grade in this school?
Delia: Sure.
Rick: The 6th grade teacher’s name?
Delia: Tomorrow.
Rick: You don't want to tell me today?
Delia: I'm telling you now.
Rick: Then go ahead.
Delia: Tomorrow!
Rick: What time?
Delia: What time what?
Rick: What time tomorrow are you gonna tell me who's in 6th?
Delia: Now listen. Who is not in 6th.
Rick: I'll send you downtown, if you say who’s in first! I want to know what's the 6th grade teacher's name?
Delia: What’s in second.
Rick: I don't know.
Delia & Rick Together: Third grade!
PAUSE
Rick: Gotta a kindergarten?
Delia: Certainly.
Rick: The teacher's name?
Delia: Today.
Rick: Today, and tomorrow's in 6th.
Delia: Now you've got it.
Rick: All we got is a couple of days in the school.
PAUSE
Rick: You know I like to visit  classes.
Delia: So they tell me.
Rick: I need an excuse to get in the classrooms.  You make up some flyers and put them in stacks and I take one stack up the hallway to  Tomorrow's room. Now me, being a good principal, I'm gonna take the next stack to the gal down in first grade. So I pick up a stack and take them to who?
Delia: Now that's the first thing you've said right.
Rick: I don't even know what I'm talking about!
PAUSE
Delia: That's all you have to do.
Rick: Is to take a stack to first grade.
Delia: Yes!
Rick: Now who's got it?
Delia: Naturally.
PAUSE
Rick: Look, if I take the flyers to first grade, somebody's gotta get them. Now who has it?
Delia: Naturally.
Rick: Who?
Delia: Naturally.
Rick: Naturally?
Delia: Naturally.
Rick: So I pick up a stack and I take it to Naturally.
Delia: No you don't, you take a stack to Who.
Rick: Naturally.
Delia: That's different.
Rick: That's what I said.
Delia: You're not saying it...
Rick: I take a stack to Naturally.
Delia: You take it  to Who.
Rick: Naturally.
Delia: That's it.
Rick: That's what I said!
Delia: You ask me.
Rick: I take a stack to who?
Delia: Naturally.
Rick: Now you ask me.
Delia: You take a stack to Who?
Rick: Naturally.
Delia: That's it.
Rick: Same as you! Same as YOU! I take a stack to who. Whoever is not there so I take three  stacks to second. Who picks up her stack from What. What takes a stack to I Don't Know. I Don't Know has extras and takes to Tomorrow,  I come back and get three more stacks and take one to Because.. Why? I don't know! She's in third and I don't give a damn!
Delia: What?
Rick: I said I don't give a damn!
Delia: Oh, she’s our counselor.


Friday, February 2, 2018

Some names are put in lights, but not principals' names



former Saybrook-Arrowsmith High School gym

Irving Elementary School

I am sure you will be surprised to read that I was not popular with all of the students at the schools where I served as principal. Occasionally a rare student would take it into his hands to express his personal feeling.

Most disgruntled students chose to express feeling directly to my face, although often they waited until they were on the way out of the office. Enduring such criticism is part of the job and actually meant I was doing it correctly. I should mention again, that such public criticism was very rare. I assume most was reserved for the trip home or the week-end get together.

Some students were motivated to be more explicit in their expression of criticism. The most visible palette for this self-expression was the brick wall of the school, especially the wall near the entrance. Ubiquitous spray paint was the medium of choice. I should note that my last name presented a spelling challenge such students could not readily master.

Knowing my first name helped personalize the message, so “Rick Sucks” became the favored phrase. Because I served the principal role at two schools over the years, both were inscribed over the course of my tenure there. Back in those days, spray paint was permanent.

Fortunately sand blasters can remove the graffiti, leaving a nice white outline of the phrase. You can see the outline at Irving over the shoulder of the person in the photo at the right. Seeing this, I asked for an additional treatment.  Further blasting blurred the outline, leaving a large area of lighter colored brick. If you look closely at the school photos you will note the lighter colored brick on the lower half of the walls. This made for a new palette.


Fortunately a message to me was only posted once on each school.  The fact that I quickly apprehended the guilty may have discouraged the next Rembrandt or Banksy. The Saybrook students had to pay a fine. Irving had white tile floors easily marked by black soled shoes. That spray painter had to remove the marks after school while his father supervised.  

The spray painted messages lasted about 24 hours, but both the walls have carried the memory over 30 years.